Zebras!

Let's get going, shall we? And what better place to start than with zebras? Sure, you know they look like horses and have stripes, but did you know that they have enormous penises?

OK, perhaps you did. But wikipedia knows more about zebras than you do. For instance, there are three species of zebra: the Mountain Zebra, which lives in the mountains, the Plains Zebra, which lives on the plains, and the Grevy's Zebra, which also lives on the plains. And if you're wondering who Grevy was, he was a President of France, known for his billiard playing and truly awesome sideburns,

and who apparently didn't discover the Grevy's Zebra and probably never even went to Africa. Cool sideburns, though.

Tangents, however, are an occupational hazard. We must return to the subject at hand, the zebra. Wikipedia also states, in all seriousness, that it was previously thought that zebras were white with black stripes, but that embryological evidence now shows that they are in fact black with white stripes. Zebras move like horses but not quite as fast, they weigh up to 700 lb, have excellent eyesight, and can bark, whinny or bray. 

Zebras, unlike other equines, have never really been successfully domesticated, though it isn't for lack of trying. The second Baron Rothschild, for instance, used to ride around London in a carriage drawn by four zebras.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is all you need to know about zebras. Impress your friends today with this astounding zebra fact.

One more question: why do zebras have stripes? Wikipedia's article: nobody knows, they just fucking do. 

Damn, this omniscience thing is hard.